One recent example which has recently made the anti-AA blogosphere is one Karla Brada Mendez whose death has been detailed elsewhere. This death is especially tragic because, if Karla had made other decisions (such as, for example, following the suggestions most meetings give newcomers), she would still be alive today.
To wit:
- Most people in the fellowship suggest that men stick with men, and women stick with women. Many sponsors suggest that newcomers do not get in romantics relationships (classically, the suggestion is "no relationship in the first year"). Karla, instead, got in a relationship with another newcomer (one Eric Allen Earle).
- Most people in the fellowship suggest that newcomers get a sponsor. Karla chose not to do that.
- One common saying in the rooms is that "winners stick with the winners". Karla, for whatever reason, did not choose to associate with women with long-term sobriety.
- There is not one oldtimer in the fellowships I have been to who would suggest that a newcomer drink or use drugs again. Karla starting drinking and using again with her boyfriend.
- When Karla's boyfriend was arrested for domestic violence, instead of going to a shelter and/or getting a restraining order against him, Karla instead chose to pay some $8,000 to bail him out.
- Finally, in another drunken fight between Karla and her boyfriend, she is killed from injuries consistent with a violent struggle.
These events happened nearly three years ago. Karla's family felt the need to blame AA for their daughter's death -- despite the fact that she would be alive today if she had followed directions given to her in the meetings.
Don't get me wrong: I grieve very deeply for Karla's tragic death, just as I grieve for the countless other people who have gone through the rooms and died drunk. But I just can not see how AA is responsible for her death, since she was undoubtedly repeatedly given suggestions which would have saved her life. But she chose, for whatever reason, to not follow those suggestions.
The suit was filed around September of 2012, but there is no information publicly available about how the lawsuit proceeded, whether it was dismissed, settled out of court, a settlement was reached, or the litigation is ongoing. Indeed, none of the articles about this lawsuit even have a docket number. Too bad; I am curious how the lawsuit went.
Don't get me wrong: I grieve very deeply for Karla's tragic death, just as I grieve for the countless other people who have gone through the rooms and died drunk. But I just can not see how AA is responsible for her death, since she was undoubtedly repeatedly given suggestions which would have saved her life. But she chose, for whatever reason, to not follow those suggestions.
The suit was filed around September of 2012, but there is no information publicly available about how the lawsuit proceeded, whether it was dismissed, settled out of court, a settlement was reached, or the litigation is ongoing. Indeed, none of the articles about this lawsuit even have a docket number. Too bad; I am curious how the lawsuit went.
